The 6th Chair

Supper. Dinner. Whatever you want to call your evening meal. It’s a time to come together and connect after everyone gets home. I don’t love to cook…I wish I did. You will never find me posting beautiful dinners that I made, because my meals aren’t beautiful! haha… Back to the point.

Our evening meals are full of catching up about our day, laughter, annoying each other sometimes and an occasional food fight. For real though, life is too short not to have an occasional food fight. We don’t get our feathers ruffled about spilled milk, because most of the time I am the one who spills! Plus, who honestly spills on purpose? A few years back, it was during these meals where I would look at Doug and the kids and be SO thankful. We were healthy, we had food, we had a lovely home, and we all liked each other…most days. The kids were younger, and life was simpler… yet felt so full. As content as I was, it was during these times that I felt like someone was missing. We are a family of five, but there was a 6th chair.

I would ask myself if it was because we lost our first baby. I would then ask the Lord if we were supposed to foster again or maybe even adopt? I never got a clear answer during that season. I just kept my thoughts to myself and remained open to whatever Jesus had for our family. I even kept our quad stroller (3 kids in 4 years will allow for this) for way too long.

It was the spring of 2015. We were getting close to the end of the year, and our church always did our annual VBS the first week of summer. My husband is the senior pastor at our church and he has a heart bigger than anyone I know. He kept telling me about this young man that played football for the local college. Sadly, I had no idea who he was talking about. Apparently, this guy had a bright yellow mohawk, so how I didn’t know about him is beyond me. In our small town, yellow mohawks were few and far between. After VBS ended, Doug invited this young man out to lunch with our family. Sondy had helped tear down and clean up after an eventful VBS, so it was the least we could do.

Little did I know, that lunch would change the course of our life forever. Two worlds collided that day. What I thought was a fun way to bless a college student and then move on with our summer, turned into a huge life change. I remember sitting there listening to this boy tell us his story.

Being married to a pastor, I’ve heard many stories of real life….real people with real struggles, pain, victory, defeat, celebration, and restoration. I’ve laughed and cried with many wonderful people. But, nothing prepared me for Sondy’s story that day. I found myself sitting in the booth wanting to crawl across the table and hug him while I sobbed. Don’t worry, I didn’t. I just sat there. And then, it happened. I can’t say I’ve ever heard the “audible” voice of God before, but I definitely know His still, small voice. You know what I’m talking about? When you know that you know you heard Him speak directly to your heart.

“He is YOURS”.

Those were the words I heard that day. And they shook me to my core. If you know me at all, you know that I really do love people. Yet, it takes a while for me to let someone move in so close to my heart like that. I didn’t even know this kid. I had just listened to his incredible story. (Side note: if you ever get a chance to hear Sondy’s story, you should definitely take the time to listen! I won’t go into detail on here because it’s his story to tell). How on earth could I ever love him as our own? What will our kids think? What will Doug think? What do I really think?

All of these thoughts ran through my head a mile a minute. But I knew that in that moment, our life was about to change forever.

We have walked Sondy out on the football field for parents night; watched him graduate from college; got that dreaded phone call late at night that he had been in a terrible accident; watched him fall in love with the woman God designed just for him; watched him get married to her in our backyard; cried when they moved to a different state; rejoiced when they moved back home; were the first ones to the hospital when their sweet Samuel was born; and have watched him grow into a mighty man of God. All of these moments are etched into this momma’s heart. The fears, frustrations, and learning each other’s quirks? That was all definitely there! But they pale in comparison to the love, fun and deep bond that we have.

Bringing Sondy into our family that summer was not something I saw coming. I always knew someone would fill that 6th chair at our table. And, I can’t imagine it being anyone else, but him. We love him, Andrea, and our sweet Samuel like they’re our very own.

Recently, someone pointed out to me that they weren’t really our kids. (It was at that moment, that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were. The feelings that ran through me were that of a mama bear! haha)

Family doesn’t always look like we think it will. I never dreamed ours would look like it does. Sondy will tell you that he didn’t want to come to church because he knew that crazy little pastor would track him down and hug him. But, he needed to come to church because that crazy little pastor would track him down and hug him. Don’t underestimate the power of caring and being kind. You never know how many lives will change because of one step of obedience. You never know who will be sitting in your 6th chair.