Confidence
“Annie, it’s time to go!” my mom called up the stairs.
“Okay, I’ll be right down!” I replied.
It was bingo day at the nursing home. Or was it bowling? Either way, I was excited to go visit my gramma at work and help her with whatever activity she had planned that day. My gramma was the Activities Director for our small-town nursing home. During the summer months, I would get to go help her once a week. My favorite day was bowling. I’d set those pins up so many times and cheer even louder when the residents would knock them over. I was a shy young girl for the most part, but when I was at the nursing home with Gramma, those feelings of shyness didn’t follow me. I was proud to be “Elaine’s granddaughter”. I didn’t even care that most of them couldn’t remember my name. They knew my Gramma, and they all loved her. I watched how she loved them back and knew something special about each one. That gave me a certain confidence when I was with her.
My Gramma and Grandpa lived on the edge of town by the baseball fields and the football field. They had a big yard with a lot of open space to run. They were avid gardeners and loved to share whatever they could. I remember going to help them pick raspberries, pull weeds, clean the camper, and every kid’s dream…mow the cemetery. I know. You’re jealous. That was my very first job. I mowed that cemetery every week with Grandpa. He would pick me up in his big old green car, and we would putter and putz out to the cemetery overlooking the lake. Grandpa never said too much, but when he did, you listened. We’d get out to the cemetery and I’d jump on the Wheel Horse and get to work. I sometimes can’t figure out why Grandpa kept wanting me to come mow. I wasn’t that great at it, but he never said anything and paid me each time. He’d bring Shasta pop out in a small Coleman cooler and we’d get to have a break halfway through. It was here where we’d talk about life, but it was always pretty short before we had to get back to work. I still remember wanting to tell him to sip his slobber off the rim of his can, but never had the heart or guts to. haha!
My Gramma would have me help with other projects as I’ve mentioned. My favorite by far was helping her decorate for Christmas. She would call and invite just me over to help. Being the middle kid, not sharing time with my older brother or sister, made this time with her so special. She would have everything out by the time I’d get there and she’d usually have a treat for me before we’d start. She would ask me questions about my day and how I was doing. We’d finish our snack and then start the big job of Christmas decorating. I remember decorating her tree, but my favorite was setting up the nativity set. She kept it in an old shoebox all carefully wrapped in paper towel. I could set it up anyway I wanted and she would “ooh and ahh” about my creativity. I am absolutely sure the tree decorations were lopsided and her collection of music boxes could have been placed differently, but she never said a word…and she never changed it. She would get her music boxes all out and then challenge me to see if I could get them all wound up and going before the first one quit. They were breakable, but I was careful. There was so much clanky music playing that we’d fall in a heap and laugh and laugh. I laugh like my Gramma, and I love it.
As I got older and had a family of my own, Gramma would come and scrub my floors while I cried to her about never sleeping and being embarrassed by my housekeeping abilities with 2 small babies. She would tell me that someday I would sleep and would have plenty of time to have a clean house. But, for now? Enjoy this time because it passes quickly. She would help me can tomatoes and freeze beans and corn and to this day always brings a “treat” for our 3 kids. When Grandpa was alive, he would weed the garden and plant cannas for me. That was his way of loving me and he loved me well. He would even occasionally share his Maple Nut ice cream.
I have learned and continue to learn so much from my Gramma. She took me on so many “life-lesson” field trips and I just thought we were having fun. She taught me that every single person matters. Even the people that most everyone forgets. She would bring me with to visit the oldest lady in town and teach me how to interact with her. It was during those times where I felt stretched and out of my comfort zone. But, I was with Gramma. I was safe.
Gramma taught me to be present over perfect. We have a great opportunity to teach our kids how to love beyond our walls by loving them well inside them. Your house should never be more important than the people who live there. In our home, we try really hard to go by “approximately right”. They may not do the dishes like I do, fold laundry like I do, or any other household chore like I do. They may arrange things a little different than I would. And when I’m tempted to give suggestions or my two cents, I think back to the days with Gramma. She made me feel so important and loved because she didn’t correct all that I did. If she had suggestions, she would do it in a way that was encouraging. She found the “approximately right” in my life and that gave me the confidence to be who I am today.
